Motherhood doesn’t come easy. It comes knocking at life with a lot of responsibilities and sacrifices for the parents – especially the mother. She doesn’t just have to bear the baby within herself but also once she/he’s born. Waking up at nights, changing diapers, feeding the baby – there’s a lot to the picture than just getting the umbilical cords cut. The baby is always more connected to the mother. She/he wants her warmth almost all the time. It’s a difficult time for the whole family adjusting as per the desires of a little human and seeing the baby as adorable as he/she is through all the messes s/he creates. It is a divine feeling, yes.
But let’s not forget how some mothers are pushed into PPD after giving birth to a baby. For those of you who don’t know PPD is Postpartum Depression that occurs quite often in mums after the baby is born. Sure, the months of pregnancy are passed by happily waiting for the little one to come and illuminate the lives of the people around even brighter than they already are. The depression is scientifically caused by a drop in the hormones i.e. estrogen, hormones produced by thyroid glands as well as progesterone after giving birth to the baby. This reduced amount pushes the mum towards PPD also known as postnatal depression.
For those of you who do not know what it is – it is a mood disorder that comes in association with childbirth. It can surely affect both the sexes but is more common in women. The symptoms may include:
- Mood Swings
- Crying Episodes
- Low Energy
- Appetite Issues
- Uneven Sleep Cycles
- Overwhelmed & Mixed Feelings
How to keep everything going?
Most of the times, the PPD starts because women tend to think their whole life has been changed and they are dependent on their babies for everything. If the baby is sleeping, then they can sleep. If the baby is hungry, they have to feed the baby first and then to satisfy their own appetite. They have to adjust to sleeping with a little baby and wake up at the cries. Babies cry and they cry a lot – there’s no hidden truth to that. People would always come to meet the baby and adore him/her too and it would make them feel less visible.
Everyone thinks about the baby and comments on how pretty or peony or big s/he is. The mother is often ignored in the process or so she feels. She starts developing a bit of envy towards the little one especially when the husband starts putting the baby before her as well. Many mothers are even told to put a full stop to their lives professionally since they have to take care of the baby. As much as a mother does love her offspring. Such petty things push her into a feeling of worthlessness. She starts thinking that everything in her life is slipping away from her at the cost of a newborn.
However, there are women who were powerful enough to be not just successful women but moms! They figured a way to create a balance between the two most demanding jobs in the world; being a mom being one and being career oriented second.
- Adele (Singer)
- Beyonce (Singer)
- Viola Davis (Producer)
- Cecile Frot-Coutaz (CEO, Freemantle Media Group)
- Donna Langley (Chairman, Universal Pictures)
- Tammy Robertson (Real Estate Company Owner, Tammy Sells Atlanta)
- Arjia Thomas (Professional Make Up Artist)
- Emmanuelle Alt (Editor-In-Chief, Vogue Paris)
- Delphine Arnault (Director & Executive VP, Louis Vuitton)
- Sara Blakely (Founder & CEO, Spanx)
- Cathy Engelbert (CEO, Doloitte)
These women are just a few examples of the women who figured how to go about being a good mom and follow a career as well. Now the question that arises is how? More importantly – how did they get successful in life without any downfalls?
How to pursue a career and be a mom too?
Being a career-oriented mom is quite a tough job since both – motherhood as well as a career – demand a whole lot of investment of one’s own self into it. There’s a constant battle of balancing the two and finalizing a middle path to keep everything as poised as possible. Yet, this is something a mom is sure to enjoy. She can just not afford to give up anyone of the two. Not that she doesn’t love her child enough but having a child doesn’t mean one has to give up on dreams and passion. The two might be difficult to handle at the same time but are sure to complement each other at one point or another. This is mainly because both the responsibilities teach different things to be used for the other. Being a mom means you have to be organized – well, having a career means you need to be organized as well. One helps adjust the other. Their co-existence is very easy as running a business isn’t very different from running a household or family. Both need a vision as well as mission statements and goals to be set for a stable future. Moreover, you can have monthly meetings and have the same activities for family closure that you do for team building. In short, a career and motherhood both benefit each other.
Here are a few tips to help you maintain the balance as well as take the things you should learn from one and use in the other.
Strategize the Plan
Just like you have to strategize and make game plans for work – make then for your home too. Pre-decide the day’s activities even week’s … from food to movies – decide on everything. This would help you check on your schedules for both home and work and make sure the two don’t go into collisions. You can also make plans for when the child is asleep.
Save up, monetarily
Rather than getting a babysitter – ask your friends and family to watch the baby for when you have to go out. Most of the time, the baby would be asleep so you won’t be missing out on too much. The positive of getting a friend to sit your baby is that they’d love the baby like you – well almost.
Moreover, saving up money also teaches you to know where to spend it professionally. Just being a risk taker isn’t enough – you need to be sane as well. Throwing money out at just about anything isn’t very intelligent or professional.
Support Squad FTW
Make mommies united club and hang out every weekend. Being with the ones who have been through or are going through something similar to what you might be would boost your mood and confidence. It would make you feel light and happy in such a company where you don’t have to act all perfect. There are problems and you can vocalize yours.
Moreover, when you have to go out for meetings and stuff you can always have one of the club members to sit your child even when they are all grown. Pool cars to take them to school and play dates. This would be time efficient and all the parents would know that their child is with a responsible adult.
If you’re good at something – do that!
When you want to work alongside motherhood – choose a field of work in which you can excel by heart. If you enjoy something – make it your profession. Don’t go for the one you think is going to make you the most bucks. No!
Work where your heart likes. This way you won’t have to force yourself to like your job. Another alternative is following your dream and becoming a mompreneur.
It’s okay to seek help
Again, you mom’s club comes into play here. When you’re thriving at both your job and home – chances are that you might feel low and depressed. This is when you say it out loud and discuss your worries with other mom friends as well as whoever is close to you. Go to a therapy, massages or whatever makes you feel better.
Moreover, if you are launching a start-up ask your club to support you via whatever means possible for them. They can support you with labor, money or just a bunch of social sites. Every little drop helps and so would they. Form an unbreakable legion amongst yourselves.
Get your kids involved
When going out of town or working – take your kids with you. For instance, if you’re a first-grade teacher you can always give your child an answer key to check the papers with you. The only difference would be that they’d check it with a pencil instead of pen and once you’re sure of them checking correctly – give them the pen. They’d be happy to help.
Likewise, whatever you do – find a fun element for your child to participate in with you. This would keep your bonding strong and be going.
Don’t let that passion die
Ups and downs are a part of life. Accept that and stay focused on the goal. The moment you let that fire of passion inside you die that’s the start of your downfall. You’d soon succumb to depression and disassociate from everyone around you – even the baby.
Hope… hope for the best. The sun has to rise tomorrow again – one way or another. The clouds, darkness, and rain – everything is secondary. At the end of those hours, you would hear the peaceful chirps of nature and feel the warmth of happiness around you.
Yes, it’s hard. No one might not understand you too. But just know that you’re the best version of yourself. You’re doing what most people can’t do i.e. focusing on multiple things. Most importantly, you’re a good mother and an idol to your child. So don’t you worry – you will shine at the perfect time. Just never stop trying.
About the author
Nathan John works as Content Editor at AT&T deals and also as a basketball team coach. He has seven years of experience in content marketing and branding. He contributes in various online communities and writes about technology, lifestyle, trends and entertainment. He also has a basketball team and almost nine years of experience as a basketball coach.